pUnKy~reflektionz…

The right thing may not always be the best thing

The right thing can be the best thing

The right thing hurts u

The best thing also hurts u

The wrong thing makes u so sad

The wrong thing makes u happy… very very happy

but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still wrong

The right thing makes u happy just becoz ur expected to keep

a promise and u were able to despite the odds

The right thing makes you so sad becoz u always doubt

if it’s really what u want

In the end ur left with what might have been but becoz u chose to be selfless u

can never feel again what it’s like to have ur whole world wrap around u so

wonderfully… peacefully… completely.

All of us search our whole lives for the one thing that will complete our existence. Sometimes it’s right beneath our fingertips and we let it slip through even with much knowledge that it’s all that we live for. We all have our reasons and when we get to find out what we think was missing it’s too late. I suppose that God has a proper timing for everything. To believe him is one thing, to trust in his ways is another. Everything we are and everything we feel has a purpose that will be revealed in time. I have learned that the very very hard way. These past few weeks many questions have been answered, feelings were settled and hearts started to mend. Consolation found its way between two hearts who had been longing for answers from each other. There were streaks of pain between conversations, laughs between cries, comfort despite guilt, sorries for wrongdoings and love above all hurts. I’ve learned that one may not be with someone but always have an exceptional place for him in her heart and vice versa… that I must not be sad for everything that has happened because somewhere out there that someone will always feel the same for me. Memories will now be kept in a beautiful place.

finally I was able to find a better version of aerosmith’s CRAZY video… =)

A few hours before the new year-2005, I was in an adoration chapel praying to god for a gift and if not at least some kind of a sign. I wanted to get the answers right away… it was then that God taught me about patience.
Several weeks before that, I met the most loving guy I know and all of my friends would call him MAHAL. He amazes me until now. For one, he wasn’t the kind of person I would fall in love with. He was hardheaded, impulsive and stubborn. I knew he was not one of those honest-to-goodness guys that you could certainly ask a favor from. Indeed, he wasn’t- until after one conversation that we had. Mahal didn’t swear to do everything like any man typically would but just simply did it. And so everyday he lived to show me how much he loved me. And I who was never pleased with anything was astounded. He had the passion for loving me, like it’s some form of an art that had to be skillfully mastered.
Going back, it wasn’t easy- I mean for him, to lay down all his cards not knowing what he’d get from it. I was with somebody else that time- a 6 yr, down with plans of getting married someday kind-of-relationship. I know what you’re thinking… he didn’t have the courtesy to just stay away. Actually, that wasn’t the case. Let’s just say I found it to be the right time to leave. April came and I knew I had to make the toughest decision of my life… and so I did. I chose him.
What it all comes down to is this… Magic happens. It could happen once, twice… no matter how many times that’s what we all live for… moments like these… lifetime of loving… it’s hard work, yes, but what we ought to know is beneath what the eye can experience… it’s what we spiritually long for… what our innermost thoughts envision and what our hearts so intimately desire and hope to find in the end. In fact, there is no end… not for us who continuously seek for what our soul can still find out there.
We long to be with people who share the same things we love… who enjoy the same things we enjoy… who think about life and love the way we do… I’m hearing Bob Marley’s No Woman No Cry on the background and I have one thing in mind. Love is for always. It thrives on memories, stay amidst our loneliness and linger in our hearts forever.
He’d often tell me. So this is what love feels like… I’ll never grow tired of it. If I lose you I’d still be glad you came into my life. Well, I never really told him but I feel the same way.
Now, there is not a day that goes by that I’m not reminded of how loved I am. I got my gift… and I have GOD to be thankful for it.

The clock read 5:05 P.M. Shannon’s workday was over. She enjoyed her job at the church, but she was ready to go home and unwind.
She began her familiar end-of-the-day routine: tidied her desk, shut down her computer, straightened a picture on her bookshelf, got her coat from the closet, and said her goodbyes. “Bye, Nicole,” she said to the girl in the office beside her. “See you tomorrow, Helen,” she called to the receptionist.
She walked through the quiet lobby and pushed open one of the heavy glass doors. The winter wind tugged at her as she made her way across the nearly empty parking lot. She climbed into her worn, navy blue Honda Accord and shut out the cold. She lifted her keys to the ignition, and then paused. There, alone in the silence, the emotions she had kept at bay during the day came rushing in. Tears welled up in her eyes. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and began to cry.
“Why, Lord?” she whispered. “ Why is this so hard? What am I supposed to do with these feelings? Take them away if they’re not from You.”

I used to watch from my window as Shannon walked to her car at the end of each day. My office looked out over the parking lot. What is she thinking about? I wondered. I longed to know more about her-to go beyond our polite conversations as casual friends and coworkers and really get to know her.
But was it the right time? My heart had been so wrong so many times before. Could I trust my feelings? Would she return my interest?
From my vantage point, Shannon Hendrickson seemed happy, confident, and oblivious of me. I was sure she liked another guy. As I watched her drive away, I whispered my own prayer. What is your will God? Is she the one? Help me to be patient. Show me when to act. Help me trust you.
How could I know that the girl in the navy blue Honda was crying as she drove away, or that I was the cause of her tears?

I got the nicest gift yesterday. I asked my brother for a mickey mouse cap, I got a mickey jacket instead! thanks marky!!

Well, here we are again;
I guess it must be fate.
We’ve tried it on our own,
But deep inside we’ve known
We’d be back to set things straight. I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new.
Every memory repeats,
Every step I take retreats,
Every journey always brings me back to you.

CHORUS
After All the stops and starts,
We keep coming back to these two hearts,
Two angels who’ve been rescued from the fall.
After All that we’ve been through,
It all comes down to me and you.
I guess it’s meant to be,
Forever you and me, After All.

When love is truly right
(This time it’s truly right.)
It lives from year to year.
It changes as it goes,
Oh, and on the way it grows,
But it never disappears,

CHORUS

Always just beyond my touch,
You know I needed you so much.
After All, what else is livin’ for?
CHORUS

I’ll try to post as much as I can. By jan. start na kc ng module with Phil Newall.. hopefully di’ nako an2kin this tym… Dennis Au was so boring, I had so much trouble comprehending anything he was saying… duh! Tongue syndrome was actually Down syndrome and Pong Vibrator was really Bone Vibrator… o’ san ka pa! It’s normal to consider you may have CAPD. Sheeesh! My only consolation was because he spoke that way it eventually got stuck in my mind… and will stay there for good (in tagalog, naging significant siya kya pang-matagalang memorya sya… hehe!)

SHall I compare thee to a Summers day?
Thou art more louely and more temperate:
Rough windes do shake the darling buds of Maie,
And Sommers lease hath all too shorte a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heauen shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d,
And euery faire from faire some-time declines,
By chance,or natures changing course vntrim’d:
But thy eternall Sommer shall not fade,
Nor loose possession of that faire thou ow’st,
Nor shall death brag thou wandr’st in his shade,
When in eternall lines to time thou grow’st,
So long as men can breath or eyes can see,
So long liues this,and this giues life to thee.

William Shakespeare

The past week was tedious. I had to sleep for half of a day since I got back. The partying mood has finally left me and I’m down to feeling reluctant for the next big thing. By the way, thanks to doc martins for letting us stay in his enormous canyon woods residence during the weekend… hopefully we didn’t cause that much nuisance… and ahem! Someone that I never expected to had stripped in front of everyone… and twice too! and kung cno un? All I can say is what happened in tagaytay stays there. Oh well, we all have our share of embarrassing moments… that is if we actually know what we were doing. hehe! …and then there are the pictures of course to actually remind us “,

Congratulations to Thursday group, my ever irrepressible groupmates for winning retrococh.. maih and grace for the choreography, lorei for her spunk, misu? where do I even start from promptness to technical work. name it. And myself for learning how to dance… ang galing nyo napasayaw nyo ko… hehe! kuya Darwin for the best in costume-umm, add natin ung prize mo sa gimik ha “, Dra. Ledesma, Dr. Thanh Vu, Dianne, Mel & myself for making it to the dean’s list. bakit pla wala tayong cash prize? Mahirap mag-aral ah! And of course I’d like to thank our good buds from Friday group for the cheers and support. We labs you! Gimmick na tayo!!! Woohoo!